matrescence
Mam, mammy, mum, mom. No matter which one you prefer to be called, none of them really capture the physical and emotional depth and breadth of becoming a mother. The terms don’t come with a guidebook. Go to a book shop or a library and you’ll find hundreds of thousands of books dedicated to the various baby and toddler stages. All of them packed with do’s and don’ts and the latest new way you should do something. But how many of those books mention the word matrescence? Have you even heard the word matrescence?
I remember the first time I came across the word. I felt a range of emotions - relief and rage mostly. Relief because I knew I was going through something ‘normal’ and biological but I didn’t have the knowledge or understanding as to what. Rage towards our patriarchal society that is responsible for our ignorance towards women’s health, bodies and biological transitions. matrescence is the developmental transition a woman goes through when she becomes a mother. It includes physical, hormonal, psychological, relational, and identity changes. A woman doesn’t just grow a baby in her body, birth it, or adopt, or go through surrogacy process and that’s it. Her brain rewires, her sense of self shifts, her priorities and values might also shift.
Just like adolescence marks the transition from child to adult, Matrescence marks the transition into motherhood. It’s not a single moment, it’s an ongoing process of identity shift, brain changes, body changes, relationship changes, and evolving priorities.
The term was first coined by anthropologist Dana Raphael, now fondly referred to as the Mother of Matrescence, in the 1970s. In recent years, psychologist and research professor Dr Aurélie Athan took up the mantle and continued the theorisation of matrescence. Dr Athan expanded the concept through clinical research, reframing matrescence as a normative developmental stage, one that includes biological changes, identity shifts, relationship renegotiation, and emotional complexity. You can follow Dr Athan’s work at matrescenc.com.
We owe a great deal to both these women for their dedication and their work.
You may also have seen on social media the full-page ad that @peanut took out in The New York Times calling for the word to be added to the dictionary!
What matrescence did for me was to validate my experience of motherhood. That it was ok to love my child fiercely and to feel rage and joy side by side. Just as menopause is a natural, biological transition, matrescence should now be recognised too. As women we have many seasons or transitions in life and some we are still learning about. This is why I am dedicating Season 3 of my podcast to matrescence. We’ll explore identity, ambition, partnership, nervous system regulation, leadership, and the invisible shifts that reshape a woman’s life after she becomes a mother. I believe knowledge is power and I believe in sharing knowledge in the hope that it makes life easier or smoother for those who need it. I cannot wait to share these beautiful conversations with you. Let’s all keep the momentum going because every woman deserves to know.